


The Honor Thing

by velocitygrass



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Embarrassment, First Time, John Sheppard POV, M/M, Marriage Proposal, NotOblivious!Rodney
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-02
Updated: 2010-10-02
Packaged: 2017-10-12 09:16:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/123316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't want to hear any of this crap. We're <em>dying</em>. I know that you've been looking forward to your honorable death, but some of us were quite happy <em>alive</em> and would have gladly <em>retired</em>."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Honor Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to mezzo_cammin for the beta!
> 
> Content note: You might want to skip this if you have an embarrassment squick.

_It was an honor serving with you._

John had exchanged these words in one variation or another with far too many people. Ronon, Teyla, Lorne. He hadn't gotten to say it to Elizabeth. But, in that moment when she'd done what any soldier would do, had sacrificed herself so that others could live, he'd _felt_ it.

He'd never done it with Rodney, though. More often than not it had only been one of them, mostly him, who'd faced almost certain death. And in the cases where it had been both of them, mostly along with Teyla and Ronon, they'd never had the time.

This was different.

Rodney walked back and forth, the light of his flashlight rushing between the ground, the walls, and back to the ceiling that would be their death. Rodney couldn't say for sure how long they still had, but he was certain that the ceiling of the artificial cave room would come down on them before the lack of air would become a problem.

"In a way, this is good," Rodney babbled, pointing his flashlight up. "This will be a painless death. When this comes down, we'll simply be crushed like insects. Unless ..." He looked up at where a large piece of rock loomed above them. "This is large enough to leave a bit of space next to it. We could end up with crushed legs, but living just long enough to spend a few hours in excruciating pain until we suffocate." John's eyes widened. But Rodney continued, eyes fixed on the ceiling. "Maybe I should make sure to stand directly below this big one," he said, moving to do just that. "This should ensure that I'm instantly—"

"Rodney!" John shouted and pulled him away.

"What are you doing?! I'm trying to find the least painful spot to die," Rodney shouted back, shining the light directly into his eyes.

John blinked and pushed the flashlight to the side. Then he glared at Rodney. Rodney kept up his stubborn look, and John's anger evaporated in affection for him. "Rodney," he said softly.

Rodney frowned, still looking annoyed, though.

"It was an honor—"

"What?! No!" Rodney interrupted him. "I don't want to hear any of this crap. We're _dying_. I know that you've been looking forward to your honorable death, but some of us were quite happy _alive_ and would have gladly _retired_."

"Rodney," John said again, taking a step towards Rodney, but Rodney moved away out of his reach.

"You and your stupid honor," he mumbled, looking at the floor. "I've lost two relationships because of it, with nothing to show for them, instead."

John blinked. "What?"

"You know what," Rodney groused, looking at him as if John was playing dumb.

Which he wasn't. "What are you talking about?"

"You want me to— _Now_ you want to talk about this?" Rodney asked, incredulous. "You're in love with me! That's what I'm talking about. But your _honor_ or whatever is keeping ..."

Rodney continued to talk, but John's brain seemed to have short-circuited. He felt as if the ceiling had just dropped in on them.

Rodney knew?

There were fingers snapping in front of him, and he focused back on Rodney, who stood in front of him now. "Don't tell me you're surprised by this. _Everyone_ knows. Teyla, Ronon. _Jennifer_." He added the last with a glare at John.

"But ..." It was the only word John managed to bring out.

"Yes, okay," Rodney conceded. "It was my own fault that when she asked me what I'd do if you ever came around and 'told' me, that I hesitated too long. I shouldn't have let that argument stand in the first place. I should have simply told her that there was no conceivable situation in which you'd _ever_ —"

That was when Rodney stopped talking because John fiercely pulled him into a kiss. For a moment, Rodney's mouth kept moving, but then he froze and melted into John.

John couldn't believe this. Rodney was wrapping his arms around him and kissing him, like it was the last— Okay, it _was_ the last thing they'd ever do. But it was still amazing.

Then he suddenly pulled back. "Now?!" he shouted at John. "Of all the times that one of us or both were sure to die, you have to choose the one that we actually _won't_ survive?"

Instead of answering, John only cupped Rodney's face and smiled. He'd never thought he'd die as a truly happy man. But now? He leaned forward and kissed Rodney again.

Rodney remained stubborn for a moment, but then returned the kiss again. Their mouths opened up and the kiss deepened and then spiralled out of control. John pushed at the shirt beneath Rodney's tac vest to get to at least a bit of skin. His mouth travelled along Rodney's jaw to his neck.

"Oh God, you want to?" Rodney asked, a bit breathless.

John nodded. Now that Rodney had brought it up, he did want it. He wanted as much as he could get until the ceiling crushed them to death. He started unclasping Rodney's tac vest.

"You're insane," Rodney whispered. But he helped undo his vest. He was ready to push it aside when John stopped him.

"Where's your sunscreen? Or anything we can—"

"Oh, God," Rodney moaned, pulling John into another kiss. Even as he held John with one hand—awkwardly, since he was also still carrying the flashlight—he fumbled with his vest and pushed a small jar in John's hand.

John held onto it and pushed off Rodney's vest. Then he put the jar in the pocket of his pants to be able to put both of his hands on Rodney's shirt. In one quick motion he pulled the shirt up. There was a moment of darkness when the shirt covered the flashlight.

"Let's put this down here," John suggested, taking the flashlight away from Rodney and arranging it on the vest so that it wouldn't shine directly at their faces, but would still allow him to see. Because he really wanted to see. He straightened and took in what he'd exposed, like the nipples that had done maddening things to him, enticing him through Rodney's shirts over the years. He leaned forward to take one in his mouth.

"John," Rodney said reverently.

John wanted to hear more of that. And he wanted to feel Rodney before they died. He glanced at the ceiling, where little chunks were already coming loose in places. He kissed Rodney, quickly, deeply, and then dropped to his knees.

"Oh, God," Rodney said as John quickly stripped off his thigh holster and opened the buttons on his fly. He pulled the pants and boxers down just enough to take Rodney's dick in his hand and, after licking up a stripe from the base to the tip, close his mouth around the head.

They didn't have time. John would have loved to explore every bit of Rodney's cock. He would have loved to find out what he liked most, but he simply took him in a good hard grip and started stroking him, tongue playing with the head of Rodney's cock, eliciting the most beautiful noises from Rodney.

When Rodney had fully hardened in his mouth and John could taste the first bits of pre-come on his tongue, he regretfully pulled off.

Rodney whimpered at the loss, but John stood up and took his mouth in a soothing kiss. "I want to feel you inside me at least once," he whispered.

Rodney kissed him again, hands struggling with John's tac vest. They managed to get it off without breaking the kiss, and John quickly pulled off his shirt while Rodney worked off his thigh holster. When he crouched down to undo his boots, Rodney went with him, kissing his neck and shoulder and anything he could reach.

John had to stop to kiss him again. To see Rodney so hungry for his skin, as hungry as John had always been for his, was wonderful. They undid John's pants and he wriggled completely out of them, even as Rodney took his already hard cock in his hand. He took it in his mouth to get his own taste of John, pulling away again before John could tell him to stop because he didn't want to come yet.

John got Rodney's sunscreen out, and they arranged the shirts, John's pants, and the previously discarded jackets on the ground, so that Rodney could lie on them. John expected Rodney to complain, but as he unscrewed the jar and began to prepare himself, Rodney only watched him in fascination.

"You're beautiful," Rodney said.

John didn't say anything. He tried to stretch himself as quickly as possible, but his eyes strayed to Rodney, who lay waiting for him, pants stuck around his feet above the boots, but otherwise naked.

"You're finally mine," John whispered. He didn't think anything but certain death could have made him say that out loud. Though he half-hoped it had been quiet enough for Rodney not to hear.

"I always was," Rodney said just as quietly.

John stopped stretching himself. The sincerity in Rodney's eyes and voice was breaking something in him. He moved over Rodney and kissed him. Rodney moved up, kissing him back desperately. Screw the preparation. John was stretched enough to take Rodney without too much pain, and it wasn't as if he had to worry about a sore ass the next day.

Still kissing Rodney, John took his erection in his hand and positioned himself over it.

"John," Rodney panted into his mouth between kisses.

John sank down on him, pressing until Rodney was inside. Rodney moaned, and John bit his lower lip and moved up and further down, taking more of Rodney in as fast as he could, ignoring the burn of being stretched so much.

"Martyr," Rodney scolded him gently, running his hands soothingly over John's thighs.

John smiled wryly. "I don't intend to die," he said, voice strained. "From this," he added as an afterthought.

Rodney rolled his eyes at him, and John had to laugh. God, this was so good. The ground beneath them was hard, the air was too hot, John's cock stood at half-mast after taking Rodney in with only adequate preparation, but they were together. Rodney was _inside_ of him. John moved around to really feel him, ignoring the discomfort in favor of looking for the position that would make him come alive.

Rodney started moving too, beneath him. He moved one hand from John's thigh to John's cock, taking it in a strong grip. He started jacking John off, and John's cock quickly filled again, hardening in Rodney's talented hand.

John started riding Rodney, fucking himself on his cock, up and down, back and forth until he finally found an angle that made him groan with pleasure. Before John knew what was happening, Rodney let go of his cock and put his hands on John's ass and thrust up hard.

John groaned again, and together they started fucking, racing towards their climax before death would take it from them forever.

"Rodney," John panted, feeling him so deep inside as if he was entirely consumed by Rodney and the feelings he evoked in John. His whole body was shaking with pleasure. He heard Rodney call out his name, again and again. John was so close. His body moved as if by invisible forces, drawing pleasure from both their bodies as they moved as one single being.

He wasn't sure who came first. One climax triggered the other, moans and their names echoing around the cave, as they came and came and came. John felt as if it would never stop.

It felt like an eternity until he eventually collapsed on Rodney. He vaguely thought that if the ceiling came down on them now, it would have to be the best death in the history of all of mankind.

John lay comfortably on Rodney, catching his breath.

"Where's that damn ceiling when you need it?" Rodney said.

John chuckled into his chest. "Maybe it wants to give us a bit of afterglow?"

"In that case, it should have given us a proper bed too," Rodney said, squirming a bit.

"'m I too heavy?" John asked, unwilling to give up his comfortable position.

Rodney put his hands on John's sides, stroking him. "I think I have a powerbar digging into my shoulder," he said.

John laughed. Rodney smiled up at him affectionately. John couldn't believe his luck. That he was allowed to have this before he died ... "I wouldn't change a thing," he said wistfully.

"Are you insane?! Apart from that powerbar, we could have had years and _still_ could have years if—"

That was when a beam of light lit everything around them and they found themselves on the bridge of the Daedalus.

"Oh, fuck," John heard Caldwell's voice, along with the gasps and whispers of the crew. "Could someone—?"

John looked at Rodney, whose eyes had grown huge. Rodney was still _inside_ of him and the only articles of clothing on them were Rodney's boots and the pants and boxers around his ankles. That, and John's wristband. They were naked, engaged in the aftermath of a sex act, and alive. They were _alive_.

John wasn't sure if Rodney had grasped that fact yet in his shock. "Rodney?"

Rodney suddenly squeezed his eyes shut tightly for a long moment, before opening them again, looking around fearfully.

"Yeah, buddy, we've been beamed up by the Daedalus," John said gently.

Two blankets were thrown on them. John figured that this would be the moment where he should get up. He let Rodney's soft cock slip from his ass, and moved up and away, careful not to expose Rodney. Rodney wriggled around beneath the blanket, presumably pulling up his pants.

John pulled the blanket around him, trying to cover up any indecencies. He could feel Rodney's come running down his thighs.

"I was going to send you to the infirmary, but you seem to be fine," Caldwell said, sounding like this had been a really long day for him. "Why don't you go wait in one of the guest rooms until ... someone can bring you some clothes."

"Yes, sir," John said. He helped Rodney up and together they made their way to the room that the lieutenant at the computer had mentioned at Caldwell's request.

Once inside the room, Rodney began pacing. "Oh, God. This did not just happen. You finally— And we— And then _this_!" John watched him rant, seeing that Rodney was upset, but not understanding it at all.

"We're alive," he said.

"Well, yes," Rodney said, turning to him. "And don't get me wrong, I really, _really_ appreciate that, but do you know what this means? You finally admit how you feel, opening up the future that we could have had for _years_ if you hadn't been so single-mindedly _honorable_ about a rule that's completely stupid to begin with—"

"We're alive," John repeated, because he didn't think Rodney had _really_ gotten that yet.

"Yes, I know," Rodney shouted. "But they're going to take you away!"

Right, yes, there was that. John wanted to feel the regret and anger, but for some reason, he absolutely couldn't bring himself to care. His ass was still sore from feeling Rodney inside him, because they'd fucked, because Rodney felt the same way that John felt about him. Everything else seemed insignificant in comparison. "You know, I've gotten pretty tired of almost dying anyway," he said, shrugging.

Rodney gaped at him. "Did they forgot to beam up your brain along with your pants?"

John stepped up to Rodney and smiled widely at him. God, he loved this man so much. And Rodney loved him too. Well, he hadn't said it, but there was some amount of reciprocation going on. "Marry me," John heard himself say.

"You've gone insane," Rodney said helplessly.

"Unless you don't ..." John trailed off.

"Of course I want!" Rodney said, though he sounded more annoyed than happy.

John's face lit up, though. "I have some money. We could move any place in the world. If you want to stay on Atlantis, we can manage that too, somehow. Maybe they can hire me as a civilian contractor. Or I'll ask Teyla if the Athosians will take me as one of their own. Whatever it takes."

"John," Rodney said, as if he didn't know what to do with John.

John smiled at him and pulled him into his arms beneath his blanket. Their lips met in another kiss.

"Completely insane," Rodney mumbled between kisses.

"But you love me anyway," John said, leaning his forehead against Rodney's.

"Yes, I do," Rodney said solemnly.

They kissed again. John only vaguely heard the opening of the door. "Goddammit, Sheppard," he heard Caldwell's exasperated voice.

John turned to him, not letting Rodney out of his arms, however. "Sir, I will be resigning upon our return to Atlantis."

Caldwell looked at him for a long moment. He didn't look happy. He looked like someone who wished he wouldn't have to see a good officer go, but understood the realities under which they all operated. He put down the sets of uniforms he'd brought with him. "Understood, Colonel," he said.

John nodded at him, then looked at Rodney. "Sir, in your position as captain of the Daedalus, can you officiate weddings?" he asked, his gaze never leaving Rodney's.

Rodney's eyes widened for a moment, then he smiled and moved closer into John's arms.

Caldwell didn't say anything for a while. "I cannot vouch for the legality of the ceremony, but I would be honored to perform it if you wish."

John looked over to him.

Caldwell smiled at him. "Congratulations," he said.

"Thank you, sir," John said, meaning more than the wedding, more than saving their lives today. He pulled away from Rodney, arranged the blanket around his waist and shot off the sharpest salute that he knew how to give.

Caldwell straightened and answered in kind, before relaxing again. "Our ETA on Atlantis is an hour. And _please_ lock the door," he added, before leaving them alone.

Beside John, Rodney shook his head. "I'll never get this _honor_ thing between soldiers."

John put his hands on Rodney's shoulders. "That's okay," he said. Rodney got what mattered. And he got _John_. Just as John got Rodney.

John leaned forward to kiss him again, but Rodney pulled away. "Nanana. Didn't you hear what he said? I could really live without someone running in on us a _third_ time today," he complained.

John grinned. As he went to close the door, he could only think that life with Rodney was going to be wonderful.

**Author's Note:**

> Additional note: John resigning.


End file.
